So tired, yet sleep is not in sight.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who has passed on cheers & tears. It’s been a very surreal 24 hours. Yes, Jess, I think I was the only one with an ear-to-ear grin at clinic. *snicker*

Counts today. Wouldn’t you know it? Platelets were at 51!!!!! Hematocrit is 29 and White count is at 9! The low dose, oral chemo is working. This is the longest that he has held on to platelets. Gregory also continues to be happy and unaffected. Dr Reynolds also filled us in on why a single lumen Hickman was placed. I guess the tubing on a double lumen is super thin (in circumference). Therefore they don’t last as long. Not knowing how long it was going to be before we went for transplant, the smart thing to do was have a single placed, until we neede the use of a double. Which is now. Also, instead of waiting until we get to Seattle to replace his Hickman, we are going to have it placed, next week. which I’m soooper grateful for. He will have some time to heal, before chemo and transplant. The surgery is not yet scheduled, but I expect to get a call tomorrow. He will receive platelets before this procedure.

I have requested a room at the Ronald McDonald house, for the threeish weeks, prior to chemo/transplant. We are on the wait list at both the Ronald McDonald house and the Pete Gross apartments, for our out-patient stay.

I have more to get out. Stuff having to do with my relationship/interactions with Curtis and AnnMarie. It’s been rough. I can’t articulate it, right now. Mostly because it kills me that it’s happening and I have no control over it. Really, I don’t. There is just nothing left to give them. It’s painful and so flippin’ challenging. I’m also nervous about what I will come home to. I think this is something I really need to get straight, while I’m in Seattle. I’m hoping they have good support for this topic. I’m also grateful that a good portion of this will occur during summer break. While it will be significanly more challenging for mom and Larry, it will be less stressful for Curtis and AnnMarie.

My brain is absolutely fried. I need to veg out for a little before crashing. Work tomorrow, Friday-Morning-Therapy. That’s as far as I’m going. I do need to start making my lists. Checking them twice. Departure is right around the corner. This is what equal amounts of excitement & fear looks like. It feels alot like shock. We shall prevail, but that doesn’t mean will be not be scathed. “What doesn’t kill you makes you blah-blah-blah.” Bullshit. While I do feel stronger in some respects, I’m also incredibly weaker, in others. I’m having a hard time saying what I want to, tonight. I think I’ll sign off and get some rest.

Love & peace to you all. ♥


About Mindi Finch

Living with Magnificence. Kicking Childhood Cancer's Ass.
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