Can I trust my gut???

This weekend was tough.  Not having blood counts on Thursday/Friday was a little nerve wracking. 

Curtis and AnnMarie stayed Friday night with Nana (thank you!) and this Saturday I made a conscious choice to not get the blues.  With just Gregory and I on Saturday mornings, I have a tendency to get a little glum.  Not this weekend.  Sometimes choice works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  Saturday night I snuck out for a few hours with a close friend and it was such a relief. 

Gregory’s behavior has been deteriorating all weekend.  Crabby, tired, needy.  Progressively worse.  Saturday night, while I was out, he had to use the bathroom and got very upset.  He’s used to me being around and was probably a little upset.  This morning he had petechia all over the eye area of his face.  Which is not abnormal, for him.  Just the volume of it.  Combined with the behavior, I’m not waiting until Tuesday for counts.  I called today and left a message to get in tomorrow.  He also had not been eating much. 

I’ve never been a “listen to your gut’ kind of girl.  Facts and figures, please.  When it comes to the OffSpring and their health, it’s a crap shoot.  Either it’s a needless trip to the doc or it’s more severe than I gave it credit.  Ugh!  I wish I had developed my “gut listening” techniques!  Crash course is currently in session.

This is not a good picture.  I was trying to capture the petechia and didn’t do very good.  Last night, Gregory was playing in AnnMarie’s room and had her cloche’ on his head.  He is getting paler and had that hat on, also his eyes are tired looking and baggy.  He looked so much like your stereo typical “cancer  kid”.  It was one of those moments that just takes your breath away.

I’ve been trying to get lots done on AnnMarie’s sweater.  My goal is to finish it before we head to Seattle.  I don’t know if the weather will be cool enough for her to wear it, but I want to leave her with something.  She is very attached to items that I’ve knit for her.  This picture does not do the yarn justice, but I’ve got the bottom half done and most of the pocket.  Once the pocket is fused, it really does fly off the needles.

Not much to report, for now.  Just more of the same.  Feeling a little clogged up, honestly.  It will shake loose.  I have a ton more to get out, but it’s just not readily available.  I’m worried about Gregory’s counts.  Gotta jet. 


About Mindi Finch

Living with Magnificence. Kicking Childhood Cancer's Ass.
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