We are Warriors

Today was the day that I started “the talk” with AnnMarie.  She has a habit of whining and crying.  She is the only girl in the family (aside from me, of course) and also the middle child.  I really thought that being the only girl would help to lessen the “middle child” stuff.  I’m beginning to think that it exacerbates it.  Her dialogue lately has been “It’s not fair, Gregory get all the attention!”.  In various forms.  I’ve tried several different responses to this.  I finally had a heart-to-heart with her.  Sitting indian style, on the kitchen floor.  I told her that if we do not help Gregory, he will die.  I told her that I was scared, angry, sad, frustrated.  We both cried.  I told her that this sucks.  Every thing about it.  Yet, it is what it is.  We have to fight it and get Gregory better.  The conversation is not over.  It will be a countinuing thing.  Yet, I hope that I made an impression.  I do NOT want her to say, “I want cancer.”  Just so she can reap the perceived “benefits”.  I also want her to understand that Gregory could die.  Kinda blunt, huh.  Yet, it is a reality.  We will fight, stay positive and conquer this beast.  Except I DO  NOT want her to believe that I can fix everything.  I DO  NOT want her to think that I lied to her.  We also talked about how you can’t catch Cancer.  How Cancer doesn’t happen because you did/did not do something.  It just happens.  For no reason.  You just have to fight like hell, when it shows up.

Gregory had an OK day today.  He seems to have a period of “normal” in the late evening.  This is when he is the most hungry and happiest.  Except he does not like me to be out of his line of sight/hearing.  He thought I was going somewhere today and point blank told me not to leave.  “Don’t go anywhere, mommy.”  I think he is scared and confused, too. 

My mom picked up some really cute, little speakers for my Zune and laptop.  I can’t go to Seattle withouth the ability to listen to my tunes.  Here’s the kicker.  Who, in their right mind, think it’s cute to name a product ‘Tweakers’?  Somebody was asleep at the wheel on THAT one.

Answer of the day………  NO.  We do not have a match, yet.  Everytime the phone rings, I get anxious. 

I put a few hours of work in today.  It’s not hard to do.  It just is.

Work tomorrow.  Early dismissal all week.  Doctors appointment with possible transfusion.  Dental under general anesthesia on Wednesday.  Conferences on Tuesday.  Thursday, work.  Provided Wednesday went well. 

Also, to all my Jefferson peeps.  I thought about you all day Saturday.  I hope the auction RAWKED!  I’m sure it did.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the best one yet. 

If anybody has ANY questions, PLEASE feel free to call/email me.  The phone volume has receeded.  Also?  There is this little button on the phone labeled “TALK” and I know how to NOT press it.  Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. 

Gregory is peacefully sleeping.  I need to get some laundry finished and do a little more work.  ’til later, gotta jet.

I will leave you with this, though…..

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About Mindi Finch

Living with Magnificence. Kicking Childhood Cancer's Ass.
This entry was posted in Childhood Cancer. Bookmark the permalink.

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