It’s the opening that is sticky. What words should fly off these fingers to hook you and make you want to finish reading the entry?
Writing through Gregory’s diagnosis and first 18 months post transplant was easy-peasy. While it was all about my emotions, it was about my experience with Gregory. These days I want to write about ME. These days my ‘me’ is not entirely consumed with Gregory. There is nothing acute to report, no earth shattering late effects. Which means I shy away from sharing anything. I’m stuck in this place of wanting to rejoice in Gregory’s sense of ‘wellness’ and not wanting to disrespect or down play what our new reality is. So……..
I write all day long. In my head. Brilliant, well phrased entries. Full of thought provoking content. Though not a single one of them have an adequate opening. Stupid Virgo brain wants a beginning, a middle and an end.
This is the time of year when everyone feels a knee jerk reaction to reflect and resolve. I find it rather creepy. These things should be done daily. Nothing big. Nothing too heavily life changing. Yet, those small moments, daily, bring on a greater life to live. Not too long ago I heard about Brene’ Brown. A dear friend loaned me one of her books and I just was not into it, at the time. I happened to catch one of her Ted videos and I was blown away.
I got kind of geeked out after watching this video. She is a researcher. Data, data, data. Totally up my alley. The concept of living Wholeheartedly and vulnerability. Basically it comes down to three words/concepts.
Compassion, Connection and Courage. These three words have been showing up in my life constantly since then. An awareness that YES….. these are the three words that I want to define my life.
Now that I have the essence, it’s time to make some hardish choices and decide what I want in my daily life. What I want to invest time in. I have a loooooooong list of things I want to do. Yet, none of them are a goal. They will happen when synchronicity and providence happen at the same time. By continuing to live the three C’s I am confident that things will fall into place. Yes, I will slip and slide. Yes, I will snap. Yes, unexpected events will continue to happen. The difference today? I have a strong personal/emotional foundation.
Now the mundane:
- I started practicing Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga in November. I am in love. More later, it deserves an entry all it’s own.
- Gregory starts speech therapy on Wednesday (January 4). While I know he really needs it, I will grieve the loss of his precious voice and pronunciation.
- AnnMarie received two Guinea Pigs for Christmas. *swoon* They are the bees knees and I can’t decide if she enjoys them more than I do. They are a true family gift. Even Curtis, the 13 year old, turns to mush when he interacts with them. Which is more often than one would imagine.
- I started my first custom, fitted sweater for myself. (Knitted, of course!)
- We have had sporadic cases of Chicken Pox in our ‘hood. Gregory’s immune system is still not fully functional and this makes me twitchy.
- Gregory ‘graduated’ from physical therapy!
- Curtis made honor roll for his first quarter of middle school.
- AnnMarie and I have been *squeeing* together over Glee. Why is this significant? There is so much joy in that little show for she and I. Joy that I was not ready to let in. It’s getting in. It is JOYFUL!
- I’d really like to volunteer at our local American Childhood Cancer office, but this is just not looking like this is the year. Hopefully next year when Gregory is in school full time.
- I’d like to partner with someone who can help me develop and publish a planner/calendar for families with medically needy kids. Know anyone? Send them my way!
|Moi. 366/2012 ~ Day 1|
I’m doing a photography project. One picture of me, everyday for 2012. If you know any way to do a nifty grid of images for this blog? I’d love the inside scoop.
I discovered an amazing little organization this week. They are called Peach’s Neet Feet. Peach custom designs and hand paints shoes for kiddos with life threatening health conditions. Her creativity and heArtWork are drop dead gorgeous. There is no doubt that she breaths every ounce of love that she possess into those creations. Check ’em out. They are on FaceBook, too. She is always looking for someone to sponsor a pair or two of shoes for kiddos.
As always, from my heart to yours…..